MUSIC OF THE MOMENT

1. Mary's In India - Dido
2. You and I - Jason Mraz
3. Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen
4. Somebody Save My Life Tonight - Elton John
5. Something's Missing - John Mayer
6. Away from the Sun - 3 Doors Down

MATTYISMS

1. It is the beauty that wells up our hearts that also creates the space for it to be void.

2. You can not calculate your way out of sadness.. for emotions are like irrational numbers.

3. Music is a superior method of communication than speaking. Speaking is limited by word choice.

The Bush Administration is alarmingly manipulative.

http://www.bushin30seconds.org/

SIXTH SENSE DREAMS

I dreamt a very vivid dream the other night.

I was in the apt that I grew up in with my family and all of a sudden a catastrophic storm hit and the town flooded with raging waters. We stayed by the windows, watching the waist level waters furiously rip by. Soon, water began to seep into our home and my mother began to weep. Fortunately the rain had stopped but when the waters had settled, the buildings around us began to let out very disturbing noises and creaks as they swayed side to side. I looked out our window to see that the dirt and foundation had been washed away creating valleys and pits right outside our home. In a matter of minutes, buildings with weakened foundations started to crash all around us creating even a deeper bottomless pits. Suddenly to my horror, I saw a kid jump away from his family and into the valleys to his death. I was horrified and overcome with sadness for them. Then I witnessed the mother pushing her other daughter off the cliff, except that the daugther struggled to hold on - not wanting to die. I then realized what was goin on. The Mother was committing suicide for the entire family, given that their home had just been washed away, she was left feeling hopeless. The mother with her strong hand was finally able to push her daughter off and with that.. I screamed and woke up scaring the shit out of my friend who for I know was having a pleasant dream.

=/

Who comes up with dreams anyway. surely someone other than me created these dreams to shock me cause they have always have a "sixth sense" suprise ending to them. Who is comin up with these twisted plots in my head. Am I tricking myself? Am I dreaming that Im being tricked? What the hell is goin on in there?! ?!?!?

I LOST MY RED HAT

It was very much my security blanket and I feel so naked without it. My friends always gave me hard time about it because according to them I would wear it too often. Sometimes if I forgot the hat, I would drive home from wherever we were to go pick it up or would somehow manipulate the situation so that we could head back to my place so that I could grab it. Sometimes I would sleep with it on and wake up with easy to manage hair. It was just the right fit. It was perfect.

Ive called I HOP several times, accused my friends of kidnapping it, and searched every corner of my room three times and although each time, I came up empty handed, I held on to my hopes that it would somehow find its way back to me.

Today after 5 days of being missing, Im afraid it might be gone for good. I never once imagined my life without it. How do you pick up the pieces and move on without something that was once so constant and present.

Today I wore a blue hat that read "TGIF" Doesnt fit quite right yet.

I TOUCHED VIGGO

It was hot. Mission accomplished. Phase II of my masterplan has now been initiated.

LORD OF THE RINGS

This Wed, Im going to the Lord of the Rings premiere and the after party following it. Im gonna wait until Viggo gets really really loud and drunk and then I'll just casually walk over and pretend that Im laughing along with him and his crew. He is hot.

See. Its all a part of my masterplan.