This is an excerpt from an actual LA craigslist posting from yesterday -

You want to look popular! LA is the city where impressions count....A LOT. On a date or in a business meeting you want your cell phone to ring....and very often.

Pay me, and I'll call you at the specific times you tell me to. So, if you meet with an important person you'll just pretend my many phone calls are from different people....and you'll look tremendously popular.

Great impressions during the exact time you need them will help you get more business. It's all about the car you drive, how you dress, and how many people want to talk to you. It's an illusion....and I'll help you fabricate it.

Yeah, why not just have a friend call you? Because you don't want to ask your friends for these kind of favors. And because no one will be at your full service and fully willing to call you at all times like I will.

For every dollar, I call you two times. So, for ten dollars I call you twenty times, and so on. Because you don't know whether or not to trust me, simply send an initial $1(only one dollar) and I'll start calling you.

Write me for more details. paymetodial@yahoo.com

Thanks to Steve, Sven and Mr. Klawans for the breaking news...



I love doing math problems. Not like Advanced Calculus or anything but just good challenging math problems. In high school, I was always taking the SATs just for fun. God I was so cool.

Anyway, I still do them once in a while. There's just something comforting about thinking thru a seemingly impossible problem, knowing very well that the answer is there and attainable. And in that moment you pencil in that solution, there's a rush of empowerment that is so pure and so right.

In a way, I guess a solved math problem helps balances out the many things in life that have no answers...



29... 29...
Im fuckin 29 years old.
This is my last year to be in my twenties.
To be in that envied range known as "twenty-somethings"
9 years in my twenties - gone
And ever
I can no longer
Relive those years.
Holy Shit
Ive almost lived 30 years in this life
Which means I am 1/3 thru it.
Holy shit.
Then 30? 31? Thirty fuckin Three?
I dont think I can deal.
I want to be forever in my twenties.
I was 20 when I first got drunk
I was 21 when I got my Masters Degree
I was 22 when I was a school teacher in a shirt and tie
I was 23 when I started visiting m4m chatrooms on AOL
I was 24 when I moved to NYC and came out at the Roxy
I was 25 when I fell madly in love for the first time
I was 26 when my heart was utterly broken
I was 27 when I moved to LA with my computer and guitar
I was 28 just last week.
Im fuckin 29 years old now.
29... 29...
Actually 29 and 5 days



My friend wrote this for me today.

Under the read hat
A heart, soul and early stage...
Happy Birthday!



Just got back from hiking. Curious...

1. Why is that everytime I get to that steep and narrow part, there are always 2 guys running their clunky bikes down that sandy and unbalanced path. Im sorry but with the heavy bad B.O. guy ahead of me, 3 dogs running up and around my legs, there's just not enough room for their bikes or their fancy bicycle wear. Why even bring a bike? I mean what if some dog jumps in their path causing them to stumble off the cliff and die?

2. Puppys are so damn cute. Wouldn't it be awesome if you had a Gary Coleman dog? You know-one that would stay a puppy forever. Surely these dogs exist somewhere.. and if not, why can't they genetically engineer those? Im sure Emmanuel Lewis would be willing to donate some cells for studys. What else does he got goin on?

3. How is that there are 5 year olds playin around the bench at the very top of this hike? How the fuck did they get up there? I mean I am usually out of breath by that point and yet there's little Mary and little John playing in the dirt. I swear they are there just to mock me.

4. Speaking of being at the top, why isn't there a 7-11 up there somewhere. Cah-ching !

5. Also, ever notice how sweating gay men look so butch when they are hiking? as opposed to say - sweaty gay men in a suana - which looks sooo gay.

6. Finally, isn't it satisfying to see that we live in such thick smog down in LA. I bet the rich people in their rich homes in the rich hills probably look at us everyday in envy.





I hate it when I see an acquaintance from a distance and just as I'm realizing who he is and why I particularly dont care to talk to him, he ends up turning his head in my direction causing me to whip my head around HOPING TO GOD that he did not see me, see him.

So then I am staring at a wall, and I begin to panic because perhaps he not only saw me but he CAUGHT me turning away which would make it obvious that I did not want to acknowledge him.

So just in case, I slowly inch my way over to them, looking aloof, and in that right moment when I am sure that I am right in his face, I casually look over and do one of those "oh?... oh hey! What are you doing here?"

But then, sometimes HE pretends to do the "off guard" bit as well which makes me wonder, "Why are you pretending? I know you must have seen me walking your way." And as we continue to talk about the weather, I begin to get pissed off at this person for pretending! What a prick !

So after our goodbyes, I naturally replay the entire scene in my head. That's when I have the most dreaded and nautious thought of all - What if he had spotted me first - WAY in the beginning, back at a distance... and right before I turned my head to spot him, HE quickly whipped HIS head away HOPING TO GOD that I did not see him, see me.

Man.. it's so annoying how FAKE some people can be!



Via Google Image Search, here are a few picts of "Matt and Steve"